You Were Mine
by Vengeful
Summary: I remember when He was mine, when we were happy. Now he's gone, she took him. NS
1. You Were Mine

**A/N: This idea would not leave me alone. I don't know why, but it was haunting me! I had to do it! Warning, this is a sad, depressing story that will possibly make you all think I am an evil bitch. This will probably be 2 chapters. First one in Sara's POV, the second in Nicks. This is not a happy story; this is also a very different angst from my other stories. I'm currently working on a way to make a happy ending, but, well, due to the nature of this story, I'm not sure I can! Well, please review!**

**--Emily—**

**Disclaimer:** anything you recognize, I don't own. They song is "You were Mine" by The Dixie Chicks.

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The rain is steadily coming down, matching my mood perfectly. I saw him today, at the mall, with her hanging on his arm. I know things have changed, he has moved on. But I just can't let go, I see no reason to. Even if we are separated, which we both agreed on. I wrap my arms tighter around myself. He looked so happy with her, his new love. She was perfect for him. Nick was happy with her. No one at the lab would dare admit that out loud, but I think they all know it.

I know I should just let go, but still, I can still find a reason to keep holding on to the hope it will work out. I had every reason to hate him, for what he did, moving on so fast. He hadn't even moved out yet! But, still, I could forgive him; I would gladly take him back. Life just wasn't worth it without Nick by my side.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I would wake up to find tears streaming down my face. I have found myself calling for him, calling his name in my sleep. Why did she have to take him? He was mine for so many years, yet it took him such a short amount of time to find someone else.

_I _I look down at the photo album on my lap. I had taken out the pictures of our wedding day, when we were still so in love. We're both smiling in them. I remember that day, the day I became Sara Stokes. I never thought I would go back to Sara Sidle, but now, that seems inevitable. The pictures have started to fade, just like our love I guess.

I wish this were all a dream, or a joke. That Nick would walk through the front door, smile and pull me close. Whisper in my ear, telling me how much he loves me. I wish he would come back, shouting, "just kidding! She's not real. I'm home for good." But its not a dream, nor is this a joke. It's the cruel reality of life.

You would think that as time went on, I would stop crying at night and calling outhis name in my sleep. But it's been a month. And it's just become worse. I bight my lip in anger. Who does this chick think she is anyways? Coming in and stealing my husband when we were trying to work things out. Well, at least I think we were trying to work it out. I'm not sure of anything anymore.

I had two good reasons for him to come back. Our children. Adam was two, Mandy four. And neither knows why Daddy isn't here, why he hasn't been coming home. I still haven't answered them, for truthfully, I cant. I just don't know how to tell them that the Daddy they look up to has left.

It's late, time for me to go to bed. Where I'm sure I will wake up crying, or screaming out his name. It seems to happen every night. Ever since he left at least. How can I not, he was mine for so long.

At the lab, it is horrible. I don't think he knows how hard it is to walk down those halls every day and see the looks people give me. I hear the whispers that surround me. And then there are those times when I see him, sometimes with her. And I run. I run past the lab rooms, past the people who I know. When the divorce is final, I'm moving. I can't stay in this town anymore. I can't be near him; it brings back to many memories.

I wipe a tear from my eye as I stare out the window of the house we shared for five years. I can just imagine him now, curled up with her, warm and happy. I wish more then anything I could be mad at Nick, and hate him. But it's impossible. All I can do is remember when he was mine.

_Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night_

_And Sometimes I Scream Out Your Name_

_What Right Does She Have To Take You Away_

_When For So Long, You Were Mine_

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A/N: Ok, I don't know if this sucks or not. All I know is that it was hard to write, to think of Nick as a bad guy. Next chapter will be in Nicks POV. That is if you want a next chapter. I might just take it down if it sucks enough. Well, please review! 

Emily--


	2. Nick

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Ok, quick story. My sister read this and I was in the living room, watching the new show "Numbers" (which is ok, not great, but watchable) anyways, I'm just watching it with my parents and suddenly my sister comes out of her room, jumps on me, and starts trying to choke me. So here I am, running around with a midget hanging on me, pulling my hair and trying to choke me, and calling me an evil bitch! And then the next day, in the car, she read the next part of the story. And then, she jumps on me again and starts trying to choke me again, pulling my hair, and trying to kill me! So, I open the car door and start screaming, "HELP!" and I get yelled at by my Mom!!!! It was really scary. Ok, Well, enough talk! Lol. Please, enjoy this next depressing segment. This is in Nick's POV. Now, remember to review!!**

**--Emily—**

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it, this wouldn't be a plotline on the show! Nick and Sara would, however, have hooked up and Nick would be topless in every episode! ;-)

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**Remember, this is Nicks POV**

The rain softly patters on the roof above. I lay awake, just staring blankly at the ceiling. She tries to snuggle closer to me in her sleep. Annoyed, I push her away. The rain has been coming down all night. I smile to myself as I remember the good times. I remember when Sara and I would just lie there together, huddled together on those rainy afternoons. God I miss her. I miss those times. I miss her laugh, and her touch. Hell, I miss all of her.

I saw her today at the mall. Linda was hanging on my arm, talking about who knows what. When I caught sight of her, I quickly started laughing, pretending I was interested in whatever the hell Linda was saying. I couldn't, wouldn't let Sara see that I was unhappy without her. Our eyes had met briefly, but then she had adverted her gaze to some unknown target.

I miss her so much. I wish I could just go back home and take her in my arms. Whisper in her ear, telling her how much I love her. I never thought out life together would come to this. The fights, the angry words we had screamed. I always thought we would work it out. We might have been able to eventually, if not for my stupid pride.

I left about a month ago. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. We had been fighting worse then ever in the week before I took off. Sara had accused me of having an affair with a lab receptionist. And I guess in a way, I was. Linda was the receptionist at the time and I had been giving her looks. But it was only because I thought Sara was sneaking around with Grissom. Stupid, I know that now. I think it was only an excuse for my behavior. Not that the reason matters now. Anyways, we had been fighting for sometime about various things.

The day it happened, I was at the bar when Linda came over to me. We started flirting and then decided to dance. I was a little, ok, I was a lot drunk, and I allowed things to get out of control. Sara found out where I was, probably from Warrick, who actually hates me right now. So there I was, dancing with Linda, and it wasn't just clean, friendly dancing. Oh, it was friendly all right. A little to friendly, if you catch my drift. Sara and I got into it, right there in the middle of the crowded bar. I don't know if it was the alcohol, my rage, or a mixture of both, but I pulled Linda close to me and kissed her, right there in front of my wife. The look on her face, a mixture of hurt, horror, and anger, will be forever burned in my mind.

The next day when I got home, I found all of my things waiting for me in the driveway. Among the bags was a note from Sara. In the note, she told me we were through, and she never wanted to see my face again. She said she was going to a divorce lawyer and would get the divorce papers as soon as she could. She also wrote that she was going to file for sold custody of our kids. And as much as I don't want that, I wont argue. She's right. I don't deserve to see my kids.

The divorce isn't yet final. Neither of us have signed the papers. We are, however, legally separated. I'm seriously thinking about leaving the lab and getting a new job, or maybe just moving. Things just aren't the same at the lab anymore. Thank God Sara and I am on different shifts. I don't hang out at the lab like I used to. I go, do my job, and leave. I don't talk to the others unless I need to. They all hate me. Catherine, Warrick, Greg, Grissom, and various other lab techs. They no longer joke with me, or talk to me. Well, they do talk to me, but it's always because they have to for a case, or they want to remind me that I'm a heartless bastard who doesn't deserve to live, which I already know. I don't drink the coffee anymore, unless I make it myself. I'm afraid Greg or someone else is going to poison me. My mind drifts back to a conversation I had with Greg when Sara and me got married.

_"Nick?" Greg looked very different in the tux, with his normally wild hair surprisingly neat._

_"Yeah?" I replied, smiling the smile that seemed to have become a permanent fixture of my face, ever since we said "I Do"._

_"If you hurt her, I'll kill you. I will poison your coffee and set you on fire." Sara walked up beside me, grinning at his threat._

_"Thanks Greg. I'll be sure to call you every time he starts to annoy me." I chuckled and pulled her close._

_"That wont be necessary. I will never hurt her. I love her to much."_

_"Aww! That's so sweet she exclaimed, kissing me soundly._

The smile on my face faltered as I thought about what had happened later in the marriage.

"I have to have her back." I whisper to myself. I know its going to be hard, probably impossible, to win her love and trust back, but I am not just going to sit here and do nothing. Step one?

End things with Linda.

I hate to hurt her, but I just don't love her. Or really like her, come to think of it. I can't stay with her, lying to her. Lying to myself. I groan as I look at the clock. It's three in the morning. There's no way I'm going to get back to sleep. I might as well get up. I need to figure out where I'm going to stay, and how I'm going to attempt to get my wife back. I pull myself out of bed and get dressed. I pray morning comes soon, for I find myself looking forward to leaving.

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**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Think I am an evil bitch? (Hehe, I think I am to ;-D) I have a quick question for you. How would you like it I did a chapter in Linda's Point of View? I have some of it written, but I will only put it up if you want it. Well, that's it for now! Remember to review!**

**--Emily--**


	3. The Fool

**A/N: Ok folks, this has got to be a first for me! I cannot stop writing this story. I have ideas for at least another three chapters. Well, this chapter is in Linda's Point of view (Linda is Nick's uhhhh… 'friend' lol. Anyways, I thought it would be neat. So, here you go. Enjoy and please review! I NEED reviews!**

**-Emily-**

**Disclaimer: **well, Nick and Sara STILL haven't hooked up (Damn) and Nick STILL has his shirt on (Double Damn!) trust me, when I take over CSI, those will be the first changes 

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He whispered her name last night in his sleep. That's the fifth time this week. He doesn't know that he says it, and I haven't told him. The first time he said her name in his sleep was a couple of days after he left her. I tried to ignore it, thinking it would stop with time. But it didn't stop. Actually, it's become a more frequent occurrence. When it started, I kept telling myself it didn't mean anything. But that's a lie. I have always known that on some level. But I kept trying to convince myself that he loves me, not her. But I can't lie to myself anymore. I have to face the truth. 

He doesn't love me, he never loved me. They say the truth hurts, and that doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing. I never really believed that until now. I know I have to let him go, before we both get hurt. I can't stay with him knowing that his heart will always belong to Sara Stokes. Or is it Sara Sidle now? I chuckle to myself. What a strange thing to wonder. I'm having the heartbreak of my life and I'm wondering if my lover-soon to be ex-lovers- ex-wife is still using his last name.

I sigh. The space beside me on the bed is vacant. He's up already. I roll slowly out of bed. I tell myself I am doing the right thing. We cant live this lie. I cant live with him, knowing love will always be absent from his touches. His "I love you's" will always be empty. His heart will always belong to her and his kids, and no one else. I hastily get dressed and walk out, heading towards the kitchen, where he probably is. It's time. This is without a doubt one of, if not the toughest thing I will ever do. I tell myself this is for the best, and that we cant go on like this. Nevertheless, it still hurts to let him go.

I walk down the hallway to the kitchen, savoring the aroma of freshly brood coffee that engulfs me as I enter the small kitchen. He's standing there, his eyes bloodshot. He hasn't gotten much sleep and it looks as though he's been crying. He turns toward me and gives me a forced smile. He then glances down at the floor and shifts nervously.

"Linda, we uh, we need to talk." He says.

"I know." I reply. I pour myself a cup of coffee and walk into the adjacent living room. He takes a seat on the loveseat across from me and takes a deep breath.

"Linda, I um, I don't think I can see you anymore. I'm sorry, it's just…"

"Your still in love with her." I finish for him. He looks up at me, obviously startled. I smile gently. "You whispered her name in your sleep. You've don't it many times before." I explain. He nods wordlessly. We sit there in silence for a few minutes, just sipping our coffee. Finally, he breaks the silence.

"So, I'm going to need to pack up and get myself to the hotel."

"You can still stay here. I have a spare bedroom." He shakes his head.

"Linda, I just don't think that would be a good idea. I really want to try to get her back. I know there isn't much I can do, but it's worth a shot." I understand his words; they make sense to me.

"Alright. I'll help you pack up." I tell him. Yes, I know, it's a lame excuse to get to spend just a little more time with him. He thanks me.

"Well, lets get packing." He says, getting up. I follow his lead.

"Do you know where you're going to stay?" I wonder. He nods.

"I made reservations at the Best Western." He replies.

Three hours later, we are parked in front of the small inn. I help him take out his luggage and put it in front of the entrance. I lean up to give him a final kiss, and I wrap my arms around him. He turns his head, and pulls away from my embrace. It stings a bit. Ok, I'll be truthful. It hurts like hell. But, I guess he is finally following his heart. As I drive off, I allow myself one last look at him through my rearview mirror. Big mistake; I feel my heart breaking all over again.

It Looks like I'm the fool in love with the fool who's still in love with her.

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**A/N: Well, there is the next chapter! I hope you liked. Well, next up is Warrick's Point of view! If you want to see it, Review!**

**-Emily-**


	4. Curiosity kills the cat

**A/N: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! I love hearing from you. Now, this story was originally just going to be a 2-chapter thing. But, well, I just can't seem to stop writing this thing! So, without further ado… chapter 4! So, review!**

**-Emily—**

**Disclaimer:** Hello? Do you See Nick and Sara kissing? Do you see Nick with his shirt off? Nope… so, obviously, I don't own it yet. I will though. Mark my word… I SHALL OWN CSI!

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**This is Warrick's POV**

The steam rises from the ground, moist from the rain from last night. As I exit the small diner, something across the street catches my eye. Through the hazy steam, I realize it is Nick. I walk a bit closer to the edge of the street. He's getting out of some car. Another car is pulled next to him. He is unloading luggage. Some blond is with him. Upon closer observation, I see that it is his little whore, Linda. In the old days, I would have hurried over and helped him. But that was before everything happened between them. Back when Nick was still the good guy everyone knew, when Sara and his kids were his whole life. Now things are different. On that fateful night, at the bar it all changed. He proved that he had fooled us all. He wasn't the kind, caring man we thought he was. He showed his true colors. He showed that he was nothing more then a heartless bastard.

That day, he lost a lot. He lost his friends, the respect we all had for him. But most of all, he lost his wife and kids, the best things that would ever happen to him.

The split affected his job to. None of us will talk to him anymore. Grissom and Greg look like they are going to castrate him anytime he is in the same room. Catherine just looks at him with pure hatred. I'm sure I give him a very hateful look myself. He hasn't worked with anyone in a while. Well, he did a couple of times. It was a disaster. No one wanted to talk to him. He knows how we feel about him to. He can't look at us in the eye, nor does he want to. Sara and Nick have yet to confront each other at work. Thank god, if they did, Nick would not be here right now. Not that anyone would mind.

I wonder what he is doing, unloading all his belongings in front of the hotel. My question is soon answered. He slams the trunk and says something to Linda. She leans up towards his lips to kiss him and snakes her arms around the back of his neck. But he doesn't kiss her. He turns his face away and steps out of her embrace. They talk for a couple more minutes, and then she takes off in the car, leaving him standing in front of the motel lobby.

Part of me wants so badly to walk over there and see what's going on. But another part of my brain keeps telling me not to, that I am no longer his friend.

They say curiosity kills the cat. I don't know if its true or not, but I guess I'm about to find out. For I find myself calling out his name and walking over to him.

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**A/N: Well, short, I know. But next one should be longer. I think. We****ll, please, tell me what you think! So, review if you want to see what happens!**

**-Emily-**


	5. Untouchable

**A/N: Thanks for the amazing responses! I love hearing from you guys. I am working very hard to finish this and most of my other current stories so that I can post some new stuff I have been working on! So, please, keep telling me what you think in a review! I think this will probably be another very short chapter. Though I am really trying to lengthen it, but I cant promise anything. But, please, review!**

**Disclaimer:** The teams still split, Sara and Nick still haven't hooked up, and Nick STILL has that damn shirt on! Obviously, I haven't yet accomplished taking it over. (But let me tell you, when I get it, that shirt is the first to go!)

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**Grissom POV**

I have always loved her. When I first learned that she was seeing Nick, I thought it was just a fling. When they got engaged, I wished that she would leave him. When they married, I still prayed that she would figure out its me she should be with, not him.

When he finally broke his heart, I wanted nothing more then to take her in my arms, and whisper that I loved her. I can imagine her kissing me, whispering she loved me to. That she always had. And then we'd get married and Nick would be left out in the cold, all alone.

When the time finally came, when he hurt her, I couldn't do it. I couldn't take her in my arms and tell her the truth. I couldn't do it because no matter how hard I tried to believe it, I knew her heart would always belong to Nick Stokes. She could never love me, nor would she want to. She couldn't deal with my confession, for she believed I had stopped loving her a long time ago. Of course I hadn't, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

It might hurt me, but not her.

She has always been the woman that has enchanted me. The one that has baffled me. She was the first woman that I ever lost sleep over. The first woman I think I ever truly loved. I wish that I had taken her up on that dinner offer, maybe then things would have turned out differently. Maybe if I had been brave enough to act on my feelings then, she would be with me now. And then she wouldn't be hurting, her heart wouldn't be broken. Or at least that is what I like to believe.

Of course, in my heart, I know that this is not true. I know that in reality, I had already caused her so much pain. I know of all the times I had raised her hopes of something between up happening, and then I would just do something to hurt her. Nick, he had been her knight in shining armor. He had picked up the pieces of her shattered heart. He had been the one to make her smile, the one to give her true happiness.

I remember the day I found out about the two of them. It was so long ago, but it seems like yesterday. It had been a long and grueling shift, and we were all tired. It had been especially hard on Sara. Rape cases had that affect on her. After I had finished the paperwork for the case, I had decided to stop in on her. I don't know why I did it; maybe I had thought she would fall into my arms. Boy was I in for a surprise.

When I had arrived at her small apartment, I had been a little nervous, I guess I was afraid that she would have someone with her. I thought that I was being silly, at that moment.

Lets just say I was in for a surprise when she opened the door, her hair mussed, wearing a pair of boxers and a man's shirt. I remember just standing there, in shock. I kept thinking "my God. I didn't know she would do something like this."

I thought she had just gotten together with someone, some random guy. Of course, when I heard that familiar drawl, I thought

"I'll kill him." I didn't, obviously. But now I really wish I had. That was very awkward, all of up just kind of staring at each other. Eventually we were all able to be in the same room without it being to bad, but things were never the same.

Sara has always been the woman I wanted, the woman I loved, and the woman I would die for. She was also always the woman I could never have. She was always the untouchable, and she always will be.

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**A/N: sorry if it was short, I am just kind of busy. We have exams coming up and everything. So, yeah, that sucks. So please, review, tell me what you think. And remember folks:**

**You use the angle bisectors of a triangle to inscribe a circle in a given triangle!**

**And…**

**Rectangles have congruent diagonals!**

**Why yes, I do have geometry exams next week!**

**Review!**

**Emily**


	6. Back

**A/N: Wow. I am overwhelmed with your response to this story. It is truly amazing. You have no idea how much it means to me to see that you are reading and enjoying this story. Please, keep the reviews coming. I am actually not sure how this will end. Should I make Nick and Sara get back together in the end? Or should they permanently divorce? Email me with suggestions at or put them in a review (I would prefer you email them to me, so others cant see in case I do use the idea to some degree, but sending them in a review is fine to!**

**Emily—**

**Disclaimer:** Must we still go through this? The day Nick goes around without a shirt and Nick and Sara get together, you will know that I finally took over CSI.

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Nick glanced up as he heard the familiar voice calling out his name.

"Hi." He said as Warrick walked up. "Here to remind me that I'm a heartless bastard?" He said, his voice filled with pain.

"Do I really need to remind you?"

"No." replied Nick, his voice soft.

"So, what are you doing here? Your little whore not good enough for you anymore? Did you grow tired of her too?" he asked, his voice harsh. Nick flinched at these words.

"I deserved that." he mumbled, his head hanging in shame.

"Your damn right." Said Warrick, his anger returning.

"If you really want to know, I left her. I-I can't stay with someone when I'm still in love with someone else." Warrick stared at him.

"Are you going to try to get her back? Do you really think you can just waltz back home and she'll forgive you?" He said angrily. "You hurt her. You hurt her bad. You did the worst thing you could possibly do. You left her, and your children. Did you know that they still don't know what's going on? They are asking where the hell you are Nick." He looked back at Nick, to see how the man reacted to his harsh words. To his surprise, he was crying freely.

"Damn it Warrick, you think I don't know that? You think I don't regret what I did every day? I wish that she had never gotten involved with me. I don't deserve anything." He said truthfully, wiping his eyes. He looked back up at Warrick. "Now, if you don't have anything else to say, I need to check in. I'm staying here until I can find a new job, far away from here." He turned and picked up his suitcases. Warrick watched him walk off.

"Nick. Wait." Nick turned towards Warrick.

"What."

"You might still be able to get her back. Don't get me wrong, she's mad as hell at you. But for some reason, she's still in love with you. She is miserable without you."

"Warrick, it's too late. She deserves better."

"Yeah, she does. But she doesn't want better. She wants you. You have to try, if not for her, for the kids. They miss their daddy."

"I miss them too. God I miss them all. Every night, I wonder what the hell I did." Warrick looked at him.

"I can tell you what you did. You ruined the best damn thing to ever happen to you." He said, looking Nick in the eye.

"I'm going to try. Try to get them back." He said, meeting Warrick's gaze.

"You could start by seeing your children. They don't know what a bastard you are. Yet." Nick nodded.

"Thanks."

"For what? Nick, I'm not going to help you with this. You're on your own. I think you deserve to rot in hell for what you did. If you want her back, you have to do it yourself. No one will help you." Nick knew he spoke the truth. He picked up his bags and turned towards the door of the motel. After he unpacked, he would go see Sara.

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An hour later, he stood on the doorstep of his old home, where Sara lived. Nick shifted nervously as he heard Sara opening in door. Her face was stony as she looked at him.

"What the hell do you want? I don't have any more of your things." She said, fury evident in her voice.

"I wanted to see my kids." He replied.

"I really don't…"

"DADDY!" Sara groaned mentally as Mandy, her daughter jumped into her Fathers arms.

"Hey baby."

"Where have you been Daddy?" He looked up at Sara.

"I'm sorry honey. Daddy has to go away for a while."

"Dada!" Squealed Adam, their two-year-old son. He joined his sister in hugging their father. Nick looked up at Sara.

"Can I come in?"

"Fine." She said, giving into the pleading faces of the young children.

"Daddy, did you make mommy mad?" Asked Mandy curiously.

"Daddy made a big mistake and made Mommy very mad." He answered.

"Mommy keeps crying. Why is she crying so much daddy?" Asked Adam. Nick looked up at Sara.

"Because Daddy made her sad." He said, meeting her eyes.

"Why don't you apologize?" asked Adam.

"It's complicated." He said, not quite sure what he should say. He smiled. "Now, how have you two been?" for the next hour, he played with his kids, enjoying the sensation of being with them. It seemed like only minutes had passed when Sara interrupted them.

"Alright guys. Its time for your naps. Say goodbye to daddy." The kids groaned but obeyed their mother. They gave Nick one more hug and trooped down the hall to their rooms. Sara turned to Nick.

"Now if you don't mind, I have things to do. And I am sure that your little 'friend' is waiting for you." She said harshly.

"Wait Sara, I wanted to talk to you."

"Talk about what Nick? What could we possible have to talk about?" He took a deep breath.

You um, you haven't gotten the divorce papers to me yet." He managed to say.

"Yeah, well, while you've been sleeping around, I've actually been busy." She said.

"I um, I'm not seeing her anymore." He said.

"Oh, she not good enough for you?" Sara said, hostility evident in her voice.

"She's not you." She looked at him.

"Well, you seemed pretty damn happy about that before." She shot back. Nick sighed. He should have known she would be this hostile towards him. Not that he didn't deserve it, he deserved worse then this.

"Sara, for what its worth, nothing happened before that night. I never cheated on you with anyone." He whispered. She glared at him.

"Well that just makes so much difference." She whispered back, not wanting the children to hear the harsh exchange of words.

"I still love you Sara." He said softly. She turned around.

"Yeah, well, I loved you too. But obviously love just wasn't enough for you." She said, fighting back tears.

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**A/N: well, I hope that you liked that one. Remember, I am still trying to decide how this thing should end. Divorce or happiness? Email me you suggestions or stick them in a review. Thanks!**

**Emily—**


	7. Time will Only Tell

**A/N: I know, it has been a while since my last update. But I have been kind of stuck on what to do. I am still not quite sure whether or not to make this a happy or sad ending. I am open to any suggestions, because frankly, I don't know what the hell I am going to do with this one! So, review!**

**Emily—**

**Disclaimer:** ok, let us again go over the facts:  
Nick STILL has that pesky shirt off (come on, take it off for crying out loud!) and Nick and Sara STILL have not hooked up (stupid bastards that write the story lines. I will kill them all! MWAHAHAHA!) And those aliens STILL haven't brought Elvis back (They will, he is alive I tell you… ALIVE!)

So basically, I own nothing. Nope, not me. Nah-ah

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He came by today, and all of those feelings came flooding back. As I watched him play with the kids, I realized just how much I would miss him. It hit me, as I yelled at him, that I am going to be raising them alone. The thought terrifies me. I don't think I can be a single mother. Sure, Catherine does it, but I am not she. I pick up the phone, trying to decide whether or not to call her. I decide to.

"Hello?"

"Catherine, its Sara. I really need to talk to someone."

"Um, sure. I'll be right over." The concern in her voice is audible. True to her word, she is ringing the doorbell twenty minutes later. I open the door to reveal a confused Catherine. I never come asking for help, I have always prided myself on being independent.

"He came over." She nods, immediately knowing whom I am talking about. She understands.

"I know. Warrick called me. He saw him today." I look up at her.

"What? Where?" He said he was checking into a motel. He left that girl. Warrick talked to him.

"What did he say?"

"He wants you back. He's going to try. I thought I would warn you." I lean back, a tear leaking from my eye.

"God, why me? Why us? Couldn't we just live happily ever after?" I ask. Catherine just lets me cry-she knows there is not much she can do. She learned that the day we split. I was a mess for days. It was then she learned that the best thing she could do was take the kids and leave me alone.

The people at the lab have been great to me ever since I left Nick. Catherine-who I had not been getting along with-suddenly was just there for me. I guess it is because she knows what I am going through. Of course, her ex was a low life cheating druggy and Nick is, well, not.

"Why couldn't he just be a jerk? Someone unlovable?" I wonder.

"You still love him, don't you?" It is more of a statement then a question. I nod.

"I just can't stop loving him Catherine. I just cant." I never thought in a million years that I would be sitting here, my heart torn in two pieces. One half is telling me to let him go, to leave now while I still can. It says that I am better off without him. But the other part of my heart just wants to run back to him, let him wrap his arms around me and love me like he used to. Up until this point, I had always looked down on women who would go back to a man, even after being betrayed. I always thought your love for a man would automatically end when something like that happened. Now I see that this is not true. Because here I am, one of those women I used to scorn.

"How did you do it?" I ask out loud. Catherine looks at me.

"Come again?"

"How did you leave Eddy?" She winces. I know that this is a sore subject for her, but I need to know.

"It was hard. There were so many times I wanted to go back. I almost did, quite a few time." She finally answers after a long pause.

"Why didn't you?" She looks me in the eye.

"Because he didn't love me. I didn't love him. It never had worked." I meet her gaze.

"Should I go back to him? Is this right, what I am doing?" She knows exactly what I am talking about.

"Sara, I am not going to decide that for you. You have got to figure that out on your own." I nod. I am glad we have become friends. She really has been the only one who truly knows what I am going through since Nick and I split. We had a rocky start, and hit many rough patches throughout our working together. There was a time where I never thought I would be friends with Catherine Willows. Of course, that was also the time when I never thought I would end up falling in love with my best friend and end up married with children. Or more accurately, almost divorced.

I wonder if Nick is really going to try to get me back. What will he do? And will I be able to stay strong and not let him back in? Should I even try? I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes. I need to figure things out.

"Catherine, do you think you could take the kids out to the amusement park tomorrow or something? I need to be alone for a while." She nods. I love my kids, but sometimes I just need time to myself. I need to sort out everything. What will I do when I have to work? Nick and I worked on different shifts, so one of us would usually be home. Now I will have to hire a babysitter, which I really cant afford.

Of course, first I have to figure out what to do about Nick. Do I let him back in? Or stand my ground. Time will only tell.

* * *

**A/N: Well, I hope you liked that little filler chapter. Again, all suggestions are welcome. So, review!**

**Emily—**


	8. The Road

**A/N: Well folks, after about a million years, finally a chapter. I am happy to say that this story is now finished. Thank GOD. There is a good reason that I haven't updated in a million years though. You see, I could not for the life of me figure how to end this thing. Put them together and it turns out cheesy. Not put them together and go against what I want! Oh the horror. Hopefully this turns out all right, but don't be afraid to tell me if it disappoints you!**

**--Emily—**

**Disclaimer:**

Rope: ten dollars

Gun: two hundred dollars

Knife: fifty dollars

Blowtorch: Seventy-five dollars

Lawyer: five hundred dollars

Owning CSI by using all of the above items: 845$, but you'd get to see Nick topless and Nick and Sara hook up, so in the end…

Priceless

But until I can get 845 dollars to buy all that stuff, I don't own it.

* * *

Sara spent the next day reflecting on her situation. At some point in the afternoon, Nick called her. She answered with a harsh hello. 

"Sara, I think we need to talk…"

"Nick, what now." She replied.

"Please, Sara, forgive me. I love you…" She snorted in disgust. How dare he come to her, begging for her.

"I don't want to hear it." She said, her voice cold. There was a pause.

"I know. I just had to give it one last try. I'm leaving next week. I got a job in Texas. I just wanted to know if I could see the kids once more." For a moment Sara was silent. She hadn't expected that.

"When do you want to come over?" She hoped her voice held no indication of the surprise she felt.

"Sunday. Will that work? I leave Monday, so it cant be any later." Sunday, that was only two days away.

"Yeah, sure. What time?"

"Noon if that's okay with you."

"Of course. Bye." She hung up before he could say anything and collapsed on the couch. She found herself short of breath as she tried to digest all that she had just been told. She knew that eventually either she or Nick would most likely leave Vegas, but she hadn't thought that it would happen so soon. She didn't know what she was feeling. She knew she should probably been happy, but the emotion was not present. A tear slipped down her cheek as she sat in silence. She finally got up about two hours later, when Catherine dropped off her children.

"Hey Sara." Greeted the older woman. Sara forced a smile.

"Hey. How were they?" She asked, motioning towards her children.

"You know how kids are. Hey, what's the matter?" It hadn't taken Catherine long to notice something wrong with Sara. Sara motioned for her to come in and to sit down.

"Nicks leaving."

"Vegas?" Sara nodded. "How are you feeling about it?" Sara shrugged.

"To be honest, I don't really know. Its just so confusing." Catherine looked at her with sympathy.

"Well, if he's leaving, it would probably be a good idea to figure out what you feel." Said Catherine wisely. She glanced at the clock. "I best be getting home now to see Lindsey. Remember to think about it." She said, rising from the couch. She let herself out, leaving Sara sitting alone.

* * *

Sunday seemed to come faster than ever, and Sara dreaded the final meeting. But, as dreaded thing seem to do, it came very quickly, and before she knew it, it was Sunday at noon. And as he had said, Nick was right on time. 

He spent a good hour and a half with his children, trying to explain to them why daddy was leaving. Finally, he looked at Sara.

"Sara, can I talk to you in private?"

"Fine." He followed her into the small kitchen.

"Sara, please know that I still love you, and I always will. Its not to late." He gently cupped her face in his hands. Sara resisted the urge to fall into his familiar embrace.

"We cant. It's too late. We both know that this would never work out." She whispered softly. Tears were shamelessly falling from his eyes, and it took her a moment to realize that tears also fell down her cheeks. He turned from her, slowly walking away. She followed him out the door, and as he was walking out to his car, she called out.

"Nick!" He turned and looked at her. She blushed.

"Um, have a good trip." He nodded and as he drove off, she scolded herself for being such a coward. She still loved him, so why couldn't she have told him?

Life slowly moved on after this. Sara even started dating after about five months. Catherine had encouraged her to go out with a friend of hers. She claimed it would be good for Sara. Reluctantly, Sara agreed. It was with a man named Jason, an old friend of Catherine's. To Sara's surprise, she ended up having a good time and before she knew it, they were officially dating. After a few weeks, he met her kids. They got along well, to Sara's relief. But still, no matter how much fun she had with Jason, nothing could fill the hole in her heart.

* * *

It took her almost six months to realize why. It was one night after a date with Jason. They had been together almost three months and were at a relatively expensive restaurant. After eating, they had gone on a walk in the beautiful gardens that the place was famous for. Taking her hand, he looked her in the eyes. 

"Sara, we have had a lot of fun together lately."

"Yeah, we have." She agreed with a smile. He looked down nervously.

"I think things are getting really serious though. I really feel a connection and all…" This was where Sara stopped him.

"Jason, are you trying to break up with me?" He looked at her, flabbergasted.

"No! No, Sara, what I am trying to say is that I love you." Her face reflected shock, then confusion. His heart fell; this was not what he had been hoping for.

"Wow. I huh, don't know what to say." He nodded.

"You don't have to say anything." Sara could see the disappointment on his face.

"Maybe I should just go home. I need to get back to the kids…" He quickly agreed. Twenty minutes later, they were parked in front of her home. As she got out, he called to her.

"Think about what I said." She nodded and he drove off.

The next day, Jason was surprised to hear someone knocking on his apartment door. He opened it to find Sara nervously standing there. He smiled weakly as Sara entered his apartment. Her response to his declaration of love had been less than what he had wanted, and he suspected that her presence had something to do with that.

"I'm so sorry…it's just…" she started. He stopped her.

"Don't. You don't love me, you still love him. Go, go tell him Sara." She met his gaze.

"I'm sorry it couldn't work." He shrugged.

"So am I. But I wish you the best of luck with him." She hugged him quickly before walking out. She called Catherine quickly, to let her know that she was going to Texas and if Catherine could watch the kids. Catherine agreed, knowing what she was up to.

* * *

Nick rubbed his face as he sipped a cup of coffee slowly. Sleep had not been coming easily for him since Sara left him, and he found himself trying to avoid it. He was surprised when there was a knock at his door. He slowly walked over to open it. His eyes widened as he laid eyes on Sara. 

"Sara…"

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?" She cringed. He realized how harsh it sounded and quickly added, "I'm glad to see you."

"I was seeing someone." His face fell. "But I'm not now. But it made me realize some things." He met her eyes. "The kids need you, Nick. I need you." Her eyes were sincere, her face pained. He knew how difficult it was for her to admit that she needed him, how hard it must have been for her to come to him and tell him how much she loved him.

"It's not going to be easy." She nodded.

"You broke my trust Nick. It's going to be a long time before I can fully trust you again. But love isn't easy."

"I screwed up badly, and it's going be really hard to get back to the way things were in the beginning. But I am willing to try again." She smiled at him.

"So am I." And thus they began the long road to recovery. Whether that road would end with heartbreak or triumph, they didn't know. But despite the uncertainty of the outcome, they were willing to try to go down that road, together.

--END--

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was the best I could do. It was still cheesy, but it could have been worse. Right? Well, let me know what you think in a review. Constructive criticism is, as always, welcomed!**


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